Father Daughter Dance 2010

Dear God. She looks just like him.

Here are some adorable pics of Victoria and Grant. Too cute!

A great time was had by both Father and Daughter. Lots of little girls screaming and lots of dancing.

**Update: I just noticed that my dog looks demonic in this, otherwise, sweet picture. And a big thanks to Julie for pointing out the wine glass on the table as well. It is, after all, a permanent fixture at our house.

Mardi Gras Wisdom

Out of the mouths of babes.

Actual conversation on the way the kids (Catholic) school today.

Me: So, kids. Today is Mardi Gras. What are you giving up for Lent?

John: Computer games.

Victoria: Dessert. What about you, Mom?

Me: (birds chirping, crickets.....)

Victoria: Just don't give up alcohol or coffee, please.

Yes, we are.

Hey Mom! Look at these cute kids from this African school!

Get off my computer, John! I told you not to look at it without my permission. What if I was on an inappropriate website?

But, it says here that they need help. It's just little kids from Africa. There's nothing wrong with that.

African children are so two months ago, John. Haiti is what's what.

Oh my God, Mom. Are we really related?

Hood Ornament

Right in front of our neighborhood Home Depot.

It started out okay.

Oy.

What a week. Well, not even a whole week, since it was only a 4 day week.

It started out with John complaining about his big left toe hurting him.

I ignored him.

He complained again the next day.

Ignore again.

He complained again on Wednesday and begged me to look at it. Hmmmmm. Perhaps he really means it?

My IPhone does not take very good photos. This toe is double the size of his other one.

And stinky.

Eeeew.

Off to the E.R. where things started well. We were immediately attended to and placed in a room. Nurse came in right away. Doctor followed after in a timely fashion. Toe cleaned and needles with Lidocane (sp?) inserted into my baby boy's big toe. Victoria doing homework. And then?

WE WAIT.

A REALLY LONG TIME.

SO LONG, THAT HE REGAINS FEELING IN HIS TOE.

Doctor comes back in. Has to put more shots in his big toe.

Small and painful procedure causing me to feel sick is performed.

Okay! All done. The nurse will be in here to bandage you right up.

MY ASS.

30 minutes later with all of us starving and the dogs having been in the house for 8 hours, I grab a sterile gauze out of a drawer and bandage his toe myself and we get the hell out of there. Nurses unhappy. Kids incredulous that I had the balls to walk out. Mom 1; E.R. 0.

Get home to open the door and are greeted by a giant pile of dog shit that is smeared into the rug as I open the door. Mom 1; E.R. 1. We are tied.

Still here? Okay.

Thursday. I make a fantastic spaghetti sauce with organic, grain fed beef, organic spinach hidden in the sauce, fresh bay leaves, organic fire roasted tomatoes and plan on cooking it for a couple of hours and serving it with whole wheat organic spaghetti noodles. Take kids to our club for their tennis lesson. Come out to the parking lot and my car has been broken into. Smashed my passenger side window to steal my tennis racquet and tennis bag. All of which will yield them lots of hair bands, some old balls (there is a joke there somewhere), notebooks with old scores and my tennis elbow band. That is some serious hard-up thieving.

The beauty of this window-smashing incident is that we had to drive back on the highway in 25 degree weather, going 75 miles per hour, freezing our collective asses off. Only to return to this.

My poor spaghetti sauce.

We ate eggs and toast.

The cutest Chinese baby girl dog. Ever.

I have baby flu. Guess it must be the 40's. I begged and begged Grant for a Chinese baby girl. There is a Chinese Children's Charities and Adoption Center in town and it is right by the Pediatrician's office. No one ever said the Chinese were stupid.

After being informed that adoption of said Chinese baby girl was "out of the question", I received this little bundle of MALE joy. Just what I always wanted! A BOY HUNTING dog. Because I hunt all the time. And Grant is deaf, apparently.

Oh and also? My husband is gone Monday through Friday.

Thanks, Grant.

My friend, Pam named him for us and it fits him perfectly. I added the middle name Cho, because he is, after all, my Chinese baby girl.

Meet Tex. Royal. Pain. In. The. Ass. But cute. Oh, so very cute.

Only he's way bigger now. That was back in August. Can you stand it?

I am in love...

Are Muskrats like Meerkats? And why do they have sex on cruise ships?

Actual conversation:

Mom: Hi Lisa. I am sitting here with my friend and we are trying to figure out the name of the show with the Muskrats that is on the National Geographic channel.

Me: Muskrats? Like Muskrat Love.

Mom: What do you mean, Muskrat Love?

Me: You know, that song called Muskrat Love. It's from the 50's or 60's.

Mom: Ay, Lisa. I have no idea what you mean. Well, I guess. (aside to her friend--all in Spanish: Cuales son? Son los que tienen mucho pelo y se paran no?--Translation: Which ones are they? The ones that are all hairy and stand up, no? ). WHERE IS THIS CONVERSATION GOING? I AM GETTING NERVOUS.

Me: Why would you two be talking about Muskrats?

Mom: Well..... My friend met someone on the cruise she just got back from and he is from England and she says that he looks like one of those muskrats when he is naked.

WHAAAAAAAAA? Jesus Christ. Who in the hell am I talking to? And? Why did you just ruin one of the best shows ever? Naked. Why did her friend see an Englishman naked? Am confused and kinda worried about the direction this is heading.

Me: Oh my God, Mom! Seriously? Did you really just say that? And besides, the show is called MEERKAT Manor. It's on the Discovery Channel, not the National Geographic Channel. And you just ruined it for me. I have to hang up now because I just threw up in my mouth.