Radio Silence and why pulling out catheters is a BAD thing....But so is having to see your Dad's privates. A lot.

I apologize for the silence on my end.  Life is getting in the way of my, um, life.  My mom called me sobbing last Thursday, looking for my husband, because my dad was complaining of pain in his left side, lethargic, confused and not able to walk.  I interrupt this post to comment on a few things:

1. My mom and dad live in Dallas, Texas.
2. I live in Colorado.
3. So I am kinda far away.
4. Grant was in Dallas that day for an interview.  She has his cell phone.
5. He was complaining of pain.  
6. In his LEFT side.
7. Can you say, "possible heart attack"
8. Or "stroke"?
9. I am a fan of calling 911.
10. Grant does NOT work as an EMS provider.
11. Chew, not swallow, an aspirin if you have pain in your chest or left side, people.
    

Luckily, my husband got to my parent's house and helped them get to the emergency room.  He called me the next day and told me to come to Dallas.  My mom does not do well in these emergency situations.  She is really good with post-emergency care, but during the actual situation?  Not so much.

So, off I trotted to Dallas and begged and borrowed time from my wonderful friends (Hi Lynn!  Hi Cathy!) to help me with the kids until Grant flew back. 

I spent the night with my Dad when I arrived and he tried to escape from his hospital bed about three times.  Twice, the bed alarm rang.  In between making sure that my Dad remained in bed and stopped pulling on his catheter (did your privates just get all scrunchy when you read that?) and trying to yank it out, I watched lots and lots of informercials.

I am convinced that infomercials are on at ungodly hours to prey on those who are tired, sick, depressed, stressed out and watching their Dad (not to mention the lovely geriatric man bits that I saw about eleventy billion times. Oh.  Yuck.) while he is in the hospital.  I came this close to ordering all of Cindy Crawford's face creams.  I was on the ready, with my credit card, about to buy the whole set, with the FREE face serum, when the nurse came in to take my Dad's vitals.  Thank you, Nurse Lady.  You totally saved my life!  Although, if there is a way that I could look like Cindy Crawford, that would be very nice.  I mean, have you SEEN her?  

Oh.  Also?  I want the SHAM WOW.  Mainly because it is super absorbent and the guy who sells it doesn't yell at me like the other dude with the Oxi Clean.  

And did you know that you can exercise for just 3 minutes a day and look amazing?  I had no idea.  I am totally doing this workout thing wrong. I just need to come up with 4 easy payments of $99.00 each for my new exercise machine that allows me the luxury of looking like a supermodel in 3 short minutes.

Back to my Dad...

He was released after 10 days in the hospital and is back home.  With a catheter.  My poor parents.  So, for now, I am back and will be working on posting more regularly.  Sorry about that.